DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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