dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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