I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize