first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
