just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
third nipple confirmed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
