Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
