I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
