i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
