I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it