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• (941): View more from Florida

  I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!

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• (818): View more from California

  Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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• (631): View more from New York

  Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go

  (319): View more from Iowa

  IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove

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• (406): View more from Montana

  He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist

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