I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist