I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize