My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
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I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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