Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
