You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
