she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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