hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
