Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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