Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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