So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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