I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
