Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize