Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
