is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
