yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
