Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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