6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
