i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
