I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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