the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
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As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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