what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
