I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
