Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
