I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have fence marks all over my body
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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