Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
