and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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