You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Small penises have feelings too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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