If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
