I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
