Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
