in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
