I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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