Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
