if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
