what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
