On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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