I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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