And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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