How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so let's talk penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
