i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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