i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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