Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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