She said her name was "party"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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