Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
