The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
