just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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