Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
