I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
