you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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