i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
