we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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