I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
