the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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