I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
