I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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