I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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