Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
