Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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