Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
