why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
