doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
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Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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