i would punch a child for taco bell
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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