I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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